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SPACE & ALIENS

By: Ada C.


The topic of alien life has been touched on by many scientists, as well as a number of eighties sci-fi films. It is the possibility that there exists, in the wide expanse of space, other life forms. A baffling thought for some of us, who can’t stand to look away from our own devices for nothing but a family dinner. Open your mind! (And your heart<3,) because I am here to add my very own addition to the dumpster fire that is Space/Alien theory! Forgive my lack of better labeling. It is what it is. Welcome to: SPACE AND ALIENS! (with Ada Colburn)

I’ll start with some of my own interests. Have you ever seen Voltron? You get points for either one, just so you know. Voltron was an old, you guessed it, eighties show that took place in the big fat galaxy. Not necessarily far away, though, as we were dealing with earth’s pioneers against the empire Zarkon in space (as if that wasn’t obvious enough). Voltron (2017) features a number of aliens and foreign life forms, including but not limited to: Galra, Balmara, Olkari, Krellia… and SPACE COW (Kaltenecker)!

Kaltenecker is a cow that Pidge and Lance were given free of charge after buying a gaming console at the spacemall.

(Wikipedia)

I can also appreciate other space-based media, however, I think we’ve had our fill with Kaltenecker over here. Although, she isn’t much different from an earth cow. She must have been taken with the…

… UFOs! That’s right, I believe in ‘em. Something funny had to be happening, and cows are very mysterious. Not saying that they helped out. I just think that it happened. I will not be citing any evidence, actually. This is my article, and anyone can stumble upon a UFO article when minding their own business any old day. So here’s theory number one: the UFOs took Kaltenecker to space, where she ended up on the spacemall market. A form of slavery? That’s an article for next time.

Here’s another one: human aliens exist. By that, I mean that somewhere, all the way across the galaxy (or even further) from us, humans are living on their own little planet. I’m so sure that this one is real. There’s just no way that it ain’t. With all that space up there? Square feet? Area? Kaltenecker? Obi-Wan, in some alternate reality, is real and he is busy being super cool up there in space. So is everyone else in Star Wars. But I don’t want to get too deep into alternate reality stuff, I’m only saying that reality and space are connected. I guess that’s theory number three.

Theory number four: aliens kind of think we’re stupid, and choose not to interact with us. It only makes sense. I’m sure that aliens are super advanced in their technology. They might even have invented some form of time-travel, and took a peek at our stupid little acts in, like, 1439 B.C., and decided we were kind of gross and/or dumb. I wouldn’t blame them at all. I only want to meet one. That’s why I’ll totally major in astronaut (not a real thing), and travel to space to be exposed to the glory of the universe. I just think it would be cool. I can probably do it digitally within the next twelve minecraft updates.

To conclude: space is cool and space is space and space has aliens in it and I wrote this article for those reasons and those reasons only! I hope you enjoyed it, as I labored a solid 30 minutes over this article. I think she’s wonderful. This will not be submitted for any competition. It is YouTube video scripting material, though.


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